Still at 255…

It’s 2016 now, and I’m still drifting between 260 and 250. I have started up my Qigong standing practice again, and I have a lot of hope for it.

I have been trying to figure out how and why my weight loss was so successful and why it came to an abrupt halt.

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Mid October

After fluctuating around 255-265 for months I hope I’m losing again. I’m severely depressed and despondent, so that should help.

Still not practicing Qigong. I need to at least as much for the counter-depression effects as the others.

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Rested for two months

…but this week I have traction again, weighing in at 260 even, for a 105 pound loss. I am realizing I was in nearly constant ketosis for 5 months, and it affected my judgement and behavior significantly. But when I’m not in ketosis, I’m depressed. Could I stay in ketosis for the rest of my life?

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April 4 weigh-in

Hmm. I have lost 72 pounds as of this morning. I am telling people: the best diet possible is to be so depressed that you don’t even realize you’re not eating – and the pounds disappear as if by magic.

I have been walking now, as long as 1.5 hours, several times a week, to keep the high-rate loss going. I am on track to lose another 20 pounds this month, which would be four months in a row. That will be about the halfway point of my project, so a good time to get another blood workup done. The last one, done after a 40 pounds loss, showed no out of range values except for the damned testosterone, which is always a quart low.

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Welcome back

I have not been posting for a while – obviously – and I’m not that sure why. I have been trying to get my Qigong practice reloaded after my mishap last summer, where I inadvertently packed too much Chi and clogged my system, seemingly. I don’t have a teacher at hand to ask about it, but the people who have commented were not too surprised or alarmed. I think it’s a rite of passage thing. Maybe not, though.

Anyway, the gist of the last few months is this: between August and December I was doing some inconsistent standing as well as Dragon and Tiger, Marriage of Heaven and Earth, and Energy Gates exercises. Nothing as strenuous as I was doing in August (30 min standing, 20-30 minutes moving postures 4-5 times a week), but occasional.

Then my wife had another upsurge in her chronic illnesses starting in December, and I basically stopped practicing altogether.

I had also been getting fatter for some time, and I began to believe that my weight was becoming a brick wall in front of me. I have not lost any weight while practicing, but during my wife’s illness I lost 50 pounds and that has made a nice difference (I still weigh 320 pounds…).

Anyway, in the meantime, Energy Arts has come out with Bruce’s long-awaited Energy gates DVD set. Since Energy Gates is the onramp to everything else, I decided to get this set, follow it religiously, and start over with standing and the other Energy Gates swings and stretches. So that’s my next project.

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You never know what enough is…

…until you know what too much is.

– Wm. Blake

Last night I was doing my stand while watching a particularly repulsive movie (Pandorum). I find that I can remain more or less aware of my body while watching TV; I check it every few seconds on the border of consciousness and I can intervene to change things, or not.

But last night I was breathing in a certain way that “packs” Chi into the Tantien. Usually I just do it for a few minutes, on and off, while I do a half hour stand. In this case the movie was stimulating enough for me to settle into “packing” for the whole half hour, or at any rate too long.

I didn’t feel much unusual immediately afterward, but I began to get manic several hours later – a peculiar kind of manic, which told me that I was experiencing Qigung Psychosis in a mild way. I started imagining writing a posting on a conspiracy website about why the CDC had brought the two Americans home – so they could try to use their viral loads to manufacture pneumonic cultivars that could be released via aerosol bombs in sports stadiums. The effect would be to create Ebola Zombies roaming everywhere. The Reptoids, irked by the attack on their food animals, showed up as 9-foot blue-green raptor-like creatures in 50’s spacesuits, with blasters that made the same sound as the alien weapon sounds in the old 60’s Outer Limits episodes. They killed off the Ebola Zombies while the uninfected people ran hither and thither screaming, or sat chuckling feverishly while their eyes moved in different directions as they lost their minds.

Well, uh, that is mild for me…

The cure is simple. Try to calm down, stop practicing for as long as it takes to mellow out, and be cognizant of your boundaries in the future. I’m feeling pretty good today, but I’m not tempted to do anything at all but watch TV and eat ice cream. Tomorrow, I may try the Bone Marrow Cleansing postures, which are supposed to flush agitated Chi and pull in fresh Chi as mellow as Bing Crosby singing “White Christmas“.



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“I” didn’t do anything

I have added Cloud Hands to my moving workout; I am doing a half hour of D&T 1, 3, and 4, along with Cloud Hands, and later standing for a half hour.

When I started Cloud Hands, I became depressed the next day after practicing it. Then my kidneys started to hurt. I persisted, and both the kidney pain and the depression lifted.

But in the last week on three occasions I knocked something off a shelf or a table while I was standing next to it, and I caught it before it dropped – faster than I ever could have previously.

But that was not the strange thing. I do not remember the action – I heard the item scraping as it fell, then I found it in my hand. “I” didn’t do anything.

Nietzsche once wrote, “The mind says, ‘I’, but the body performs ‘I’.”  From my Sufi experiences, I know the truth of that, but nevertheless it was strange to see what the body would do if I got out of the way…


I wrote to Isaac, the senior student I mentioned who extended his hand on the end of his arm so dramatically, and asked him what he made of my experience, and he said:

Hi Mike,
I suspect you have to go through a bit of a “healing crisis” as your body begins to open up and things begin to clear out, so your experience is par for the course. 
As for the increased speed and dexterity, all I can say is “that’s why I do this stuff”. The simple explanation is that as your body becomes more open and relaxed, you have less resistance to your body’s instincts, and things often “happen” before you realize they started. Mind, no mind, or as we say in Taoism, Action without action. Glad you’re enjoying yourself. 
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